Chocolate and that Jesus Guy

I have yeast issues.

Big ones.

I know - TMI and what the heck does that have to do with the above? I'm getting there.

I've had skin yeast infections ever since I stopped nursing my first born and my boobs sagged and created a nice hot, moist, dark environment for the little beasties to grow in; if you do the math, that's about 12 years.

12 years.

Finally, this last year, the worst symptom started (rectal itching) (and you thought the other was TMI). I'd had enough so when I went in for my annual, my nurse and I had a long chat. The long and short of it was that I had too much yeast in my system and my body couldn't fight it all off. I needed to remove sugar from my diet (GASP) (because apparently sugar not only feeds my soul but also the wee beasties) and take a butt load of probiotics. No pun intended. No sugar meant no candy, one serving of grains per day and one serving of fruit per day and NO CHOCOLATE. Be still my heart - I still have issues when I think about it.

This was toward the end of February. For some reason or another but which I cannot quite recall, I was fasting on February 28th and felt impressed that that was the time to start. Okay Lord, down the rabbit hole we go!

Within two days I started getting bad, daily headaches that I couldn't shake for several weeks.

So I did what any sane woman would do. I chopped off my hair. 8" whooshed to Locks of Love and my head felt pounds lighter.

But I still got headaches so I'm sticking with my "getting rid of sugar is E.V.I.L." diagnosis.

In the middle of March I got sick, really sick - fevers and headaches and overall yuckiness. Did you know (I'm sure it's just the placebo effect) that orange juice makes me feel so. much. better? It does. Did you know that orange juice is loaded with sugar? Yeah. Loaded. (But the headaches did go away so I'm sticking with my "orange juice makes me feel so. much. better." diagnosis.)

So I felt compelled to start the sugar free thing again; this was done with a purpose - to defeat the evil yeast - and I wanted to make sure that mission was accomplished. So I added another month. Which means that April 24th I get to eat sugar again. Which just happens to be Easter. Even though this was so not a Lent thing.

Needless to say, this has been a huge topic of conversation at our house as Mommy has different dinners than everyone else and Mommy doesn't get to eat ice cream or peanut butter pie or Eliza's first batch of "I made them all by myself (mostly)" cupcakes.

The other day we were discussing Easter at the table and my daughter (pay attention - this is the point of the whole sordid tale) said that she was looking forward to Easter because it was the day that we celebrated Mommy getting to eat chocolate.

Really.

All year we've been talking about Jesus. Talking about baptism (as she'll be 8 in November and eligible to be baptized). Reading the New Testament (we're in the Book of Acts). And yet, my daughter thinks that Easter is to celebrate the end of Mommy's temporary, never been done before, sugar fast.

I quickly corrected her and told her that Easter was the celebration of the atonement of Jesus, His crucifixion and suffering and His glorious resurrection and all the blessings that those events bring to us.

Eliza added, "And Mommy getting to eat chocolate."

Perhaps there is not a baptism in our future this year. . . .